~kayeah

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About Me Member Deviously Annoying kaye kassandra16/Female/Philippines

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LIFE. 112809

Fri Nov 27, 2009, 8:09 AM

Mood: Neglect
Listening to: The Saltwater Room - Owl City

^{Nothing excites me that much anymore or even if there is, it won't last either. Somehow being sad or disappointed is already part of my cycle, especially with friend issues. What goes their mind is just that unpredictable. All those closures that you felt and thought was real could just be over in one day. They won't chase you back either. They won't even at least TRY to approach you, unless they need SOMETHING from you, yes, they only want that part of you. There's no assurance in everything (well except God) and that's just so hard to deal with. I feel tired. You just can't be strong all the time. You try to think positive but when you do, you tend to expect. When your expectations are not met, you get disappointed. When you try not to expect, you might lose your goal. Then you go back to where you started, back to nothing.

Yet from all these, something will always hold you back. Out of love, you still would care and give them chances. You still wouldn't use it against them. You would still make time for them no matter how they trash you. You would still listen to all their success and failures even if they never cared to ask what's happening in your life. You would still help them stand up and would even encourage them. You would still do those things for them even knowing that these are the things they will never-ever do for you.

SAD.

And I miss my dad too. No one encourages me like he does anymore and he doesn't call me bobo or stupid.

And I'm pressured in keeping my grades up especially when no one really encourages you to study. No one really appreciates your efforts. I need to get a GPA of 3.0 or more. Well, maybe it's attainable for many but honestly I'm not academically smart and my PE grades suck too. : | It's hard to force yourself on something you know you were never good at. And I'm having a hard time dealing with most of my profs. They're not responsible as they should be.

SAD!}

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^{Kaye Kassandra So Kua
1st Yr College | 16 | Feb 12 1993
drawing | music | singing | poetry | fashion | photography | fatal frame | webdesigns
HAPPY + LAZY + GRADE CONSCIOUS + GOD FEARING + IRONIC}

Devious Info

Current Residence: none! im a squatter!
Interests: anime, music, poety, webdesigns, drawing, photography, fashion, fatal frame :D + cosplayyyy!!!
Favourite movie: the girl who leapt throught time (:
Favourite band or musician: Avril Lavigne, Tomoko Kawase, etc.
Favourite genre of music: ROCCCKKKKKKK!! i want noise!
Favourite artist: every artist in DA!!!!
Favourite poet or writer: every poet in DA!!!
Favourite photographer: every photographer in DA!!!
Favourite style of art: traditional! hahahaha poor
Operating System: nya?
MP3 player of choice: Creative :)
Wallpaper of choice: TURTLES >w<
Skin of choice: any skin? XD
Favourite game: TWEWY! disgaea! HMDS! RO DS!
Favourite gaming platform: DS!!!! : D
Favourite cartoon character: Pikachooooooo!
Tools of the Trade: any cheap toollzz hahaha~